A Pupper’s Work Is Never Done
Let’s be real, dogs don’t think they have jobs. They absolutely believe they do. And they take those jobs very seriously. Whether it’s barking at the wind or shadowing your every move like a furry little bodyguard, dogs act like they’ve got a full-time gig, and honestly, they kind of do.
This story takes a personal look at my 14-year-old Maltese-Poodle, Moon, and five of the self-appointed jobs she takes on with rabid enthusiasm. Behind her dedication? Instinct, emotional bonding, and a deep love for treats.
She’s Not Wrong: Dogs Were Built for This
If you’ve ever lived with a dog, you already know they’ve got routines. They know when it’s food time, walk time, and time to scream at the Amazon guy. These aren’t just habits—they’re instincts.
Dogs have worked alongside humans for thousands of years, helping us herd, guard, and hunt (Beck & Katcher, 2003). Even though most dogs today are more couch potato than cattle wrangler, those instincts haven’t gone anywhere. So when your dog acts like the chief of front-door security or your emotional support hype woman, she’s not wrong.
Moon’s Current Freelance Roles
1. Personal Hype Woman
Waking up? She’s thrilled. Say “bike ride”? She’s ready to party. Lay on the couch? She’s already there. Moon mirrors my energy like we’re synced.
Fun fact: Dogs experience emotional contagion, where they reflect their humans’ feelings and energy (Palagi et al., 2019).
2. Food Inspector & Crumb Recovery Specialist
No food escapes Moon’s nose. She doesn’t beg—she inspects. Her stare? Pure professional focus.
Fun fact: Dogs’ noses are up to 100,000 times more sensitive than ours (VCA Canada, 2024).
3. Security Guard (Window Division)
Moon takes front-door duty seriously. She barks and sprints to the door whether someone’s there or not. Invisible threat? She’s on it.
Fun fact: Barking at strangers is rooted in a dog’s instinct to guard their territory (Scottsdale Pet Hotel, 2012).
4. Emotional Support Shadow
Moon follows me everywhere—the kitchen, the bathroom, the closet. If I close the door, she lets out a dramatic sigh from the other side.
Fun fact: Clingy behavior is common in dogs with strong attachment styles—aka “Velcro dogs” (Pendergrass, J., Grzyb, K., & PetMD, 2021).
5. Lifestyle Critic
Moon has opinions about everything I do and how fast I’m doing it. Take too long with dinner? Cut a carrot without sharing? She gives full “I’d like to speak to the manager” energy—honks, grunts, squeaks, the works.
It’s hard to stay mad. She’s 14, and deliciously beautiful. But… COME ON, KAREN.
Fun fact: Dogs use all kinds of vocalizations to communicate, andbreeds like Poodles are extra expressive (American Kennel Club, 2023). Basically, Moon gives daily TED Talks.
Hard at Work, Paid in Snacks
Moon might not have a boss, paycheck, or business card, but she works hard. She protects, supports, and entertains me every single day. And she’s not alone.
Millions of dogs clock in without asking for anything more than a squeaky toy and a comfy lap. These weird little “jobs” are just part of how they love us, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.